Jokes |
Question and answer blond jokes continued. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A golden retriever. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. |
Q: What about the blonde who gave birth to twins? A: Her husband is out looking for the other man. Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet? A: She was last years hide and seek winner. Q: What is dumber than a brunette building a fire under the water? A: A blonde trying to put it out. Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow? A: To get chocolate milk. Q: What do you call a blonde with a brand new PC? A: A dumb terminal. Q: How did the blond burn her ear? A: The phone rang while she was ironing. Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in? A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter". |
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: What does a blonde owl say? A: What, what? Q: What's the Blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..." Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence? A: To see what was on the other side. Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back? A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "don't walk". Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car? A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche. |
Q: What are the six worst years in a blonde's life. A: Third grade. Q: What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common? A: You keep hearing about them, but never see any. Q: How to you keep a blonde busy all day? A: Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you? A: Run! She's got a hand grenade in her mouth. Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: I'll tell you tomorrow. Q: Why can't the blonde make ice cubes? A: She lost the recipe. Q: How do you hit a blonde so she will never know it? A: With a thought. |
Q: Why did the blonde put her finger over the nail when she was hammering? A: The noise gave her a headache. Q: How does a blond know if she's on her way home or on her way to work? A: She opens her lunch box to see if there is anything in it. Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: The instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds". Q: Did you hear about Pepsi's new soda just for blondes? A: It has "open other end" printed on the bottom. Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears? A: They're refuelling. Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio? A: She didn't want one for nights. |
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes? A: Because blondes would have to think them up. Q: Did you hear about the blonde that went to library and checked out a book called "How to Hug"? A: When she got back to the dorm and found out it was volume seven of the encyclopedia. Q: What do you call 24 blondes in a cardboard box? A: A case of empties. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind? A: Blow in her ear. Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat? A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row. |
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear? A: Data transfer. Q: What goes vroom, screech, vroom, screech, vroom, screech? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: To a blonde, what is long and hard? A: Grade four. Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance? A: 144 blondes. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: "Why, I just love nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?" |
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter". Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?" A: The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!" Q: A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces." Q: What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A: A blonde parade. Q: What is the blonde's highest ambition in life? A: They want to be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet. |
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office? A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps! Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!" Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air. |
Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper |
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Submit your own Blonde joke |
Submit your own Blonde joke |
